On at least 3 or 4 separate occasions within the last month, I’ve found myself talking to clients about the importance of mindfulness. Now there’s a lot of information out there about exactly what mindfulness is and its benefits so I won’t bore you here with all that. Needless to say whenever it came up in session it was always in relation to coping with stress or feeling overwhelmed.
A couple clients preempted me with things like “I’ve already tried the mindfulness thing and I can’t empty my mind or just focus on one thing.” “I can’t switch off !!” Guess what? Neither can I! Trying to empty my mind is like my ever present To-Do List. Any sense of achievement I get from crossing something off the list is short-lived because immediately another 2 or 3 To-Dos (thoughts!) are ready to replace it….sigh.
You’re told to sit like this and look at that or close your eyes and think about that. And don’t even get me started on the breathing! When I get instructions about breathing slowly and mindfully it starts to feel so unnatural, I end up switching between feeling like I’m about to hyperventilate to falling asleep, neither of which is the outcome I’m looking for. Sometimes having all these instructions about being still, can in themselves feel overwhelming! I mean how do I even know if I’m doing it right…it’s just too much pressure!
For me mindfulness has literally become about just stopping. I’ve been challenging my clients to take a Mindful Minute…literally. Set the timer for 60 seconds and simply stop…sit still…for a minute. You don’t have to close your eyes or breathe in a particular way…just be still. Try the Mindful Minute and gradually increase it by a minute or more every day, whatever works for you.
I initially happened upon the Mindful Minute because for some reason, a memory, a terrifying one from several years ago when my son was just a toddler, came back to haunt me. We were living in the UK and went to a festival. There were about 6 of us in our party and there was this horrifying moment where a crowd rushed through and my son’s hand and mine were parted.
I can never get my brain to recall what I did yesterday but in that moment I was able to recall every horror story, newspaper headline and documentary I’d ever heard about children going missing and it never ended well. We had completely lost sight of him and we all darted in different directions calling his name. Then I spotted him, he was standing and slowly turning in a circle, looking at the crowd and the chaos of the festival. In that moment of chaos somehow he knew the best thing to do was to simply be still. It is a lesson I will never forget.
Bear in mind all of this took place in less than 2 minutes but it was the longest 2 minutes known to humankind! Interestingly, when you set that timer for 60 seconds it can literally feel like time is standing still. The magic lies in the spaces between the chaos.
So the next time chaos comes calling…take a minute.
